Just thought that I should mention 3 things:
I went to the ol’ Mountain View in Mesa . I graduated with roughly 900 people, most of whom I couldn’t point out to you in a line up…even at that time. 3,000 people on a daily basis in school…I have seen much smaller towns.
My high school was an interesting one. I remember thinking before I entered the campus that it was going to be some quasi-experiment in reliving those fascinating movies from the 80s….a Breakfast Club meets Pretty in Pink, or at the very least, a Heathers environment. None of the preparation that i had done before high school was really necessary. I had gone to what was known as the “ghetto” jr high — Kino. Fights, premarital sex, small drug use….all things that wouldn’t be welcome at the Vista . Or at least I thought not. I kept waiting for the popular kids, the drama geeks, the nerds to distinguish themselves and fall in those social patterns of exclusivity. This really didn’t happen. As I marched through the halls of the View I found that, though these groups tended to “stick together,” it wasn’t an exclusive club == but rather a blending of common allies — and the allies, at least in my case, were abundant. I had friends in all of the “groups” == the smart kids, the smart kids who did drugs, the drama kids, the speech and debate kids, the cheerleaders, the jocks, the militant crowd, etc. I would eat lunch in the drama room, then out by the football field, then out at Hogi Yogi or BK. I really feel that you were allowed to be in limbo in this situation, which I think has affected my perception on most things in my life since then. I don’t believe that people fall into one group or another. They blend.
I was reading through my old yearbook — nostalgically reading the well-wishes from people that I wouldn’t see for at least ten years (though, that thought wasn’t really in my mind at the time). Some are specific and make me laugh…some make me cry for the people that I was thisclose to and now have gone by the wayside. It was surreal.
Speaking of friends from high school, and those out in my immediate peer group in the Valley (I had a lot of church friends that were the same age, or so), I started looking through some pictures from the era…and found that in ten years, I have more friends from the era than I thought I would. I always had a lot of friends. People to call at any hour, people to hang out with, people to smoke with, people to get rides with….but that, inevitably, changed over the last decade. I understood, at the time, that I wouldn’t remain BFF’s with everyone that I knew…but I was shocked by who ended up drifting away and who stayed and I grew closer with. I don’t regret it…for most of those that drifted are people that I don’t really want to know any more. Is that cold? It may be, but I know who they are now, and it makes me a little sick. I am most surprised by the people whom I was only somewhat close with in high school who are now such gravitational centers in my life. I am elated by this, for their friendship and kindness over the years has been duly noted and accounted for, and I have tried to repay this in every way I know how. I haven’t always been a great friend…filled with the normal, self-serving, and self-centered ideals that I know most people have, but I think I have fared better than many people I know.
As I look at my BFF’s, friends, and former friends now, I am both surprised and unsurprised for where they are at now. People are married whom I would never had imagined would marry, people are single, people have 6 kids, people have no kids, some when to college, some went to the dark side, etc. I, myself, am not where I envisioned myself to be at the age of 27. Here are some basic rundowns of the ideals I had back then.
Now, I really don’t have any regrets….law school would have been the end of my soul (not for all people, but it would have killed me). I do help with campaigns, especially ones that put tolerance at the forefront of the campaign’s ideals. And for the Joaquin/Christian combo? Give me time….
I didn’t expect to be married….mainly because the idea of marriage is something I have never been a fan of. Just me….not a judgment on you. I have a job that I love, friends that I adore, and, most importantly, have a sense of contentment for the first time in a while. I have fun with people, I don’t get angry very much, I cry with more ease (which is a huge accomplishment for me), and I enjoy life. I don’t know a lot of people who can really say that last one. I don’t set these goals anymore….my goals are as follows:
A lot as changed since 1997…in the world, the country, the state, and with myself. I find myself to not be as trusting as I once was. I believe that people have good souls. I believe that judging something makes one party to hatred, which is hard to abide by. I believe that I know some of the smartest and most wonderful people in the world. I believe that I will be BFF’s with them forever (still a little naive). I believe people make mistakes that they don’t account for. I believe we all do the previous statement. I believe that some people can’t come back into your life anymore. I believe that sometimes doing something you believe in isn’t right. I believe that you can’t please all the people all the time. That last one was a hard one for me to finally admit to myself and to others.
I know people that loved high school. I know people that hated it. Though I wouldn’t want to relive it, I certainly learned more than I ever thought I would….or even realized at the time. My high school reunion is in October….at a barn…which if you knew my senior class, makes absolutely no sense. I am excited about seeing people, but also about seeing people that through my own self-centeredness I may have lost contact with.
So, that’s it. Nothing more I really have to say on the subject. The Counting Crows are still the best band in the world. I still love to play BS and Axis and Allies. I want to have another Wizard can war. I want to ditch class and go to Olive Garden or Serranos. I need to watch John Cusack movies.
Peace out homies.
“Reflection is the soul’s art”
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